The Black Lung Talks Real Good and Stuff. Part 6: Dublin, it's not me, it's you.

Unless otherwise noted, all photo credits go to Niki Erickson, an awesome photographer, a fantastic friend, and a really top notch traveling companion. Thanks, Niki!

Previously, on The Black Lung...we were in Dingle. Huzzah! It was great, and if you only get to go to one place in Ireland, that's what I'd recommend. Of course, it's pretty isolated, so I have no idea how you'd get there and bypass everything else, but there you go. So, with heavy hearts, we said farewell to Dingle. This is when I almost killed that biker. Sorry, guy!

At Blarney Castle. If we'd realized how extensive the grounds were, we would have budgeted in more time. Knowledge is Power.

 

Our first stop was Blarney Castle, home of the Blarney Stone. The basic Blarney Stone story is that if you kiss it, you'll be an eloquent speaker. According to the myth, this is either because the Blarney Stone is part of the Stone of Destiny (which I mentioned in my post about Scotland), or maybe because of a witch who was drowned, or saved from drowning, or a pagan goddess giving someone advice for a court date. It was unclear. In any case, since this tradition started, probably in the late 1700s, millions of people have kissed the Blarney Stone.

 View from the top. Climbing the skinny, windy stairs to get to the top of Blarney Castle is almost scarier than actually kissing the stone. Almost.

Before we went, I really had no idea what this entailed. The Stone is on the highest level of Blarney Castle (which is in ruins, bt-dubs, just to make it scarier). The internet assures me that the castle is 90 feet tall, so that's about how high you are. You have to lie down on your back and stick your upper body out of a hole and then move your head down and over to kiss the stone. If you have good eyesight, you can see the ground far, far below. If you have taken your glasses off so you won't lose them out the hole, like I did, you can only see enough to know that one false move and you'll be a goner. There's a man that holds onto your legs, and there are iron bars to hold onto, but I still felt like I might die. I was very dizzy for a few minutes afterward. It's also disgusting. There are several stones in the hole, and the easiest way to figure out where to kiss is to look for the lipstick marks. Seriously, if Niki hadn't already been sick, I would have thought I got my post-vacation illness from the Blarney Stone. Still, pretty cool to say I've done it, even if it hasn't noticeably improved my eloquence yet. I'm pretty sure that living in Baltimore is working hard to counteract any gift of gab I may have received in Ireland.

 People waiting to kiss the Blarney Stone. You can see just how high we really were/how ruined the castle really is. There's an actual picture of me kissing the stone, but I had to pay 10 Euros for it, so you'll have to see it in person.

 The Hole from the outside. That white patch near the top of the wall is what you're leaning  out of, backwards and upside down.

Aside from the Blarney Stone itself, Blarney Castle also has a lot more to offer. The grounds are beautiful, and we walked through a lot of beautiful gardens. They also have a creepy cave/tunnel system under the castle that was possibly used by inhabitants to escape the grounds in times of war. I went a little way into the caves, and they were dark, damp, and short. I think if I needed to escape from anyone using those caves, it would be a toss-up as to what would actually kill me: starvation, being captured, panic attacks from claustrophobia, or accidentally braining myself on the low-hanging rocks.

Right inside the creepy caves. A few steps further in, and there's no sunlight anymore. The horror!

 

Niki in a giant tree on the Blarney grounds. The grounds were so pretty!

 

One of my favorite part of the grounds was the poison garden. At first we thought it was a playground, because some of the poisonous plants were covered by what looked like monkey bars. But that's just to keep you from getting too close! There were also plants that warned you not to sniff them, and super fun things like Deadly Nightshade and Wolfsbane. Then they surprised everyone by also having tobacco plants and talking about how smoking is poison. POISON!!! Pretty fantastic stuff.

Go Cougars!

 

After we left Blarney Castle, we went to Cobh, which is the last port the Titanic stopped at before it's ill-fated maiden voyage. It was a disappointment, mostly because we went to the wrong place. If you ever go, make sure you go to the Queenstown Heritage Center, which we've heard good things about, and not the Titanic Experience, which sounds legit but is hecka boring. Trust us. And then we tried to go to Subway and I almost got in a fight with some workers because they were really dumb, but they thought that I was the really dumb one. How rude! I did not get in a fight with them because I am  mature, but it was a disappointing afternoon to say the least.

That night, we stayed in Waterford Castle. So pretty and fancy. It's on it's own island! You have to take a ferry to get there! It's historic! They have golfing! Also, the fanciest toilet in the world, with pretty pictures painted on the outside and the inside (ew!). The one terrible thing about staying there was that I could not figure out how to make the shower cooler, and I almost passed out because it was so hot and steamy in the bathroom. The best thing about staying there (aside from it being a castle on a island, of course) was the breakfast. So good! I got porridge, and I loved it so much that I've tried to recreate the experience since I got home. The closest I've gotten is Irish Oatmeal with a little bit of heavy cream stirred in. Delish. It's also pretty good without the heavy cream though,  in case you don't want to have a heart attack from eating breakfast.

 You can't really tell from this picture, but there are gargoyles up there. :D

 Wheeeee!!! For some reason, I felt compelled to swing on a fancy gate while exploring the island. Probably because I'm really mature. Remember how I didn't fight those Subway people?

The next morning, we went to the Waterford Crystal showroom, which is kind of insane. The first thing we saw was a giant crystal bear which cost 40,000 Euros! A Euro was about the equivalent of $1.30 when we were there, which basically means that it was a freakin' expensive bear. They had some cheaper stuff (Niki got a great bowl for a very reasonable price), but there were extremely extravagant and insanely expensive things all over the showroom. My favorite was the Cinderella coach and horses, which were 30,000 Euros. My other favorite thing was the crystal seahorse brooches all the employees wore, but those weren't for sale. Sad face. I would have bought one and worn it every time I wanted to look fancy.

 

 Why no picture of the crystal bear??? Seriously though, anyone want to lend me about $40,000 so I can get this?

After we left Waterford, we went to Dublin, which was the great disappointment of our vacation. Seriously, it was terrible. Luckily, we had only planned to stay there for part of one day, so we didn't have to suffer through it for long. First problem we encountered-no one in Dublin knows how to drive or be a pedestrian. Honestly, only divine intervention kept us from killing or being killed on the roads of Dublin. Never try to drive there. Not really sure if there's good public transportation, but almost anything would be better than driving. Second problem, it was really dirty. Honestly much grosser than London. Third problem, extreme rudeness. Our one big plan for Dublin was to see the Book of Kells, which is in Trinity Library. The Book of Kells is legitimately amazing, and I would have very much enjoyed seeing it, but both Niki and I were pushed (pushed!!!) multiple times, especially by this older lady, who is really lucky that she didn't leave with a black eye. But even though she was the worst offender, pretty much all the tourists were rude and the employees were unhelpful. If I was in charge, things would run much better, because there would be rules, and they would be enforced! Anyhow, Trinity College Library is amazing, and you should try to go at a time when literally no one else is there.

 

 The long room in the Trinity College Library. So amazing. I wanted to touch everything! But we were allowed to touch nothing.

 Don't be fooled by this picture of a street musician on a charming cobblestone road. Dublin was evil. Evil I say!

After our harrowing experiences in Dublin, we decided to forgo our original plan of going to a pub and hearing Irish music in the evening. Instead, we stayed in our hotel room all night and watched American television. It was a dark time indeed. But it gets worse! The next morning, our plan was to catch the ferry to Wales, thus ending our time in Ireland. But alas, we went to the wrong port, missed the ferry, and had to wait five hours to catch the next one! It was super frustrating. First, we drove to the wrong port. Then we drove to the right port (at least a 45 minute drive). Then we had to go back to the first port (another 45 minute drive), because that's where the next ferry was sailing from. And then we ending up hanging out in the waiting room at the port for a couple of hours. To top it all off, it wasn't the same ferry company that we used on our way to Ireland, and there was a definite difference in quality and comfort. Also, the sea was super choppy, so even though we both took Dramamine, Niki and I got really, really sea sick. And we had to miss 5 quality hours in Wales, which turned out to be one of our favorite places of vacation.

To be continued...with less whining.

Next time-the thrilling conclusion of the Adventures of the Black Lung!