It's true. I took the plunge and rewatched The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe (BBC '80s version). Gah. In no particular order, some thoughts I had while watching this movie:
No wonder Edmund is such a little jerk. He's bitter about being an uggo!
Well, then why is Lucy so chipper? She is also an unfortunate looking child. Someone get that child some braces! And a different hair cut. And a longer dress.
Susan's cute. But still a little boring. I bet that's why she became lame in the books. Her character was dull, and she was sick of it! She wants lipstick!
Why are all of these kids the same height? Are they quadruplets? All I can say is, Lucy doesn't seem all cute and innocent when she's just as big as everyone else. She seems slow.
Seriously, Turkish Delight? Is gross. How on earth can this be what Edmund wants? This has always bothered me, actually.
Augh! The Beavers! Run away! I can't believe this didn't give me nightmares as a kid.
Edmund is schizophrenic! That's it! And his other personality is a buzzkill!
Well, okay. I don't see the point in switching from an actual wolf to a person in a (totally freaky) wolf costume, but considering the other special effects in this movie, that was pretty nifty!
Gee, White Witch. You look hungry. Would you like more scenery to chew?
Is that a full sized lion puppet? Or a lion costume? Either way, I want one.
Gosh, BBC, you couldn't even spring for one "lion's roar" sound effect? I could make a more realistic sounding lion's roar than that.
It's a good thing that the White Witch's army is totally incompetent. I could defeat Peter and his minions with a water gun!
Wait, when you become a king or queen of Narnia, you wear a night gown? Rip-off! but hey, at least Peter isn't wearing those awful shorts anymore.
I guess that's it. I'll not lie. I still enjoyed it immensely. It's hilarious! And I can see why I liked it as a kid. But it's no 2000s The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. And it's certainly no original written masterpiece. I do have to wonder about the grownups who made this movie though. I know why I liked it. I was little! I didn't know any better! And I realize that there were limitations of price and technology, but some of those special effects hurt me a little bit. And the beavers? C'mon. That's just wrong.
4 comments:
It's wonderful. That is John's favorite thing. He has even condensed it into a highlight reel with all those awesome parts..lion roar included. Ah..the beavers...thanks halloween (and sam) for the recreation.
Totes hilare, Mer! Totes HILARE! But honestly, I don't even need to rewatch that sucker because you just summed it up too awesomely. Love you ltos!
I have never watched it, but now I want to!
I was so happy when I found good Turkish Delight in Oxford. Still not worth betraying your family for.
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