This may come as a shock to some of you, but the public library is a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Or, at the very least, a haven for weirdos (not to be confused with beardos. Beardos are cool. I like beardos. Check it out! http://www.beardteamusa.org/index.html) For example, in the three days I've been here this week, I've been hit on inappropriately by two different guys while working at the reference desk! The first, poor little guy, kept asking me questions like, "So, do you like bowling?" Me: "Nope." Lather, rinse, repeat. Today, the creepy guy was older and creepier. He made a comment about librarian glasses that I hesitate to repeat on a blog. Let's just say that it wasn't terribly original, but it was terribly awkward. And very rude. And technically probably sexual harassment. I should sue!
And these situations aren't really unusual. Nor, to be fair, are they limited to guys. Those are just the two that happened most frequently. But the weirdness/rudeness of visitors to the public library is rampant. So here's the real question. What is it about public libraries and librarians that make the strangeness come out of the woodwork? Why do these people feel the need and the prerogative to say uncomfortable or inappropriate things to me? Is it because I'm an underpaid public servant? Because I think that should entitle me to more respect, not less. Or maybe the world is really just going to heck in a hand basket and everyone is getting disrespected. Well, I'm indignant! You can't hear me right now, but I'm singing a rousing chorus of the song where I demand some respect! Through spelling!
One last note. I'm not suggesting that weirdness itself is a crime. There are some very lovely people who come in to the library who are, shall we say, different. And I'm cool with that. Although I'm really not sure that the US government actually controls the weather. If that's true though, someone should really get on the humidity problem. But I am not cool with the ones who's weirdness manifests itself in creepy ways (no, I do not want to share an extended handshake with you! Stop trying to touch me! And stop looking at me with your crazy eyes!). And rudeness is never okay. Especially that annoying passive aggressive weirdness we get so much of. Like we won't notice that what you're saying is actually really mean because you're not using your angry eyes. We see right through you! Librarians of the world unite and rise up against public! We shall take over the world! All hail Libraria!*
*For more information about evil librarians and their plot to take over the world, read the excellent, although rather one-sided, account, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians by Brandon Sanderson. If super creepy dude had read it, he would know not to say anything untoward about a librarian's glasses. After all, she might use them to fry your brains!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Random thoughts
1. Why do I always get Joan Rivers and Joan Crawford mixed up? At this point in my life, it's a little embarrassing that I can't keep them straight.
2. Some things would really benefit from a laugh track. Oddly enough. Yes, I'm talking about the new Disney Channel show, Jonas. Truthfully it would also benefit from being a) more funny, and b) totally different than it is now!!!! But I think some fake laughs in there to tell me when I ought to be enjoying myself would go a long way. I mean, I know the Jonas brothers can act at least a little bit. I watched Camp Rock, for pity's sake. But I found their new show to be really boring, pointless, and a little embarrassing. And coming from someone who loves the Jonas Brothers and the Disney Channel, that's saying something.
2a. On the other hand, I quite enjoyed Sonny with a Chance, so maybe there still hope for the world!
3. Humidity is the bane of my existence. The other day, when I was walking outside, my elbow was sweating. Yes, my elbow. That's just wrong.
4. Nedric isn't from anything. Except Maren's brain. It's like Cedric, see? But different? Hee hee! Oh, Nedric!
5. The new Star Trek movie has reignited my childhood ambition to join Starfleet. Seriously, why is the present so lame? I mean, come on--librarian? What's that all about? At the very least, in the future I could be a librarian: IN SPACE!!!!!!!!!
I'm not sure where I'd want the library to be though. It seems like the outer sections would probably be a wee bit dangerous. They're always getting blasted by torpedoes and stuff. But I'd want us to have windows. That way, if no one was coming in, we could look out at the scenery. Wait, where would I be closest to the escape shuttle thingies? And I bet I'd need to be a lot more comfortable with all those fancy technologies. Do they have paper books in the future? They should. There's something very comforting about actually holding a book in your hand. And would I have to wear a heinous polyester uniform to work? Oh, the dilemmas I would face as a librarian in space. Ooh, look, I'm a poet!
6. Wouldn't Librarians in Space be an awesome comic book?
2. Some things would really benefit from a laugh track. Oddly enough. Yes, I'm talking about the new Disney Channel show, Jonas. Truthfully it would also benefit from being a) more funny, and b) totally different than it is now!!!! But I think some fake laughs in there to tell me when I ought to be enjoying myself would go a long way. I mean, I know the Jonas brothers can act at least a little bit. I watched Camp Rock, for pity's sake. But I found their new show to be really boring, pointless, and a little embarrassing. And coming from someone who loves the Jonas Brothers and the Disney Channel, that's saying something.
2a. On the other hand, I quite enjoyed Sonny with a Chance, so maybe there still hope for the world!
3. Humidity is the bane of my existence. The other day, when I was walking outside, my elbow was sweating. Yes, my elbow. That's just wrong.
4. Nedric isn't from anything. Except Maren's brain. It's like Cedric, see? But different? Hee hee! Oh, Nedric!
5. The new Star Trek movie has reignited my childhood ambition to join Starfleet. Seriously, why is the present so lame? I mean, come on--librarian? What's that all about? At the very least, in the future I could be a librarian: IN SPACE!!!!!!!!!
I'm not sure where I'd want the library to be though. It seems like the outer sections would probably be a wee bit dangerous. They're always getting blasted by torpedoes and stuff. But I'd want us to have windows. That way, if no one was coming in, we could look out at the scenery. Wait, where would I be closest to the escape shuttle thingies? And I bet I'd need to be a lot more comfortable with all those fancy technologies. Do they have paper books in the future? They should. There's something very comforting about actually holding a book in your hand. And would I have to wear a heinous polyester uniform to work? Oh, the dilemmas I would face as a librarian in space. Ooh, look, I'm a poet!
6. Wouldn't Librarians in Space be an awesome comic book?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
An ode to that fair town where I spent many a happy year
Orem, sweet Orem. 90 years old today. Can you believe it? I'm not actually writing an ode, but I think it's worth mentioning. I have nothing but fond memories of Orem. It was a great place to grow up, and it remains a great place to visit. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for raising us in Family City USA! As a testament to just how cool it is, check out this awesome owl story: http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/307645/17/
In other news, still no name for car. I've had several votes for Jayne (good name. I like it. And don't be fooled--it's very manly and tuff). I also had a write in suggestion of Nedric. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! We had a good laugh over that. I could call him Ned for short! It really is pretty fantastic. I plan on trying some of the names out for a day or two, see which ones feel right. But I'll for sure let you know!
In other news, still no name for car. I've had several votes for Jayne (good name. I like it. And don't be fooled--it's very manly and tuff). I also had a write in suggestion of Nedric. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! We had a good laugh over that. I could call him Ned for short! It really is pretty fantastic. I plan on trying some of the names out for a day or two, see which ones feel right. But I'll for sure let you know!
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