Thursday, May 28, 2009

Creepy dudes at the library

This may come as a shock to some of you, but the public library is a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Or, at the very least, a haven for weirdos (not to be confused with beardos. Beardos are cool. I like beardos. Check it out! http://www.beardteamusa.org/index.html) For example, in the three days I've been here this week, I've been hit on inappropriately by two different guys while working at the reference desk! The first, poor little guy, kept asking me questions like, "So, do you like bowling?" Me: "Nope." Lather, rinse, repeat. Today, the creepy guy was older and creepier. He made a comment about librarian glasses that I hesitate to repeat on a blog. Let's just say that it wasn't terribly original, but it was terribly awkward. And very rude. And technically probably sexual harassment. I should sue!

And these situations aren't really unusual. Nor, to be fair, are they limited to guys. Those are just the two that happened most frequently. But the weirdness/rudeness of visitors to the public library is rampant. So here's the real question. What is it about public libraries and librarians that make the strangeness come out of the woodwork? Why do these people feel the need and the prerogative to say uncomfortable or inappropriate things to me? Is it because I'm an underpaid public servant? Because I think that should entitle me to more respect, not less. Or maybe the world is really just going to heck in a hand basket and everyone is getting disrespected. Well, I'm indignant! You can't hear me right now, but I'm singing a rousing chorus of the song where I demand some respect! Through spelling!

One last note. I'm not suggesting that weirdness itself is a crime. There are some very lovely people who come in to the library who are, shall we say, different. And I'm cool with that. Although I'm really not sure that the US government actually controls the weather. If that's true though, someone should really get on the humidity problem. But I am not cool with the ones who's weirdness manifests itself in creepy ways (no, I do not want to share an extended handshake with you! Stop trying to touch me! And stop looking at me with your crazy eyes!). And rudeness is never okay. Especially that annoying passive aggressive weirdness we get so much of. Like we won't notice that what you're saying is actually really mean because you're not using your angry eyes. We see right through you! Librarians of the world unite and rise up against public! We shall take over the world! All hail Libraria!*



*For more information about evil librarians and their plot to take over the world, read the excellent, although rather one-sided, account, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians by Brandon Sanderson. If super creepy dude had read it, he would know not to say anything untoward about a librarian's glasses. After all, she might use them to fry your brains!

5 comments:

Liviania said...

I try to avoid the creepy dudes in the comic aisles of bookstores. My friend who worked at one said guys liked to be clever by asking her where the Kama Sutra et al was.

Unknown said...

Oh dear! I know what you are going through all too well. I have learned you just have to be very rude and direct with them otherwise they never get it. And let's just say the Librarian glasses comment is even more dirty when explained why it is so "attractive". Good luck with it!

Mom at Our House said...

if it makes you feel better (which I don't know why it would). It is not limited to librarians. When I was a cashier at Rite Aid I got weirdo drunks all the time. Now on Mafia Wars (online game) I get the same thing. I just shrug it off and made sure someone walked me to my car on late nights

Shay, Chelsea and Jonas Allen said...

Shay says, and I quote, "That was a really hilarious post." I concur whole-heartedly. My favorite thing was (apparently) someone shared a conspiracy theory with you about the government controlling the weather. That is something to think about, for sure. Thanks for the darn clever and humorous blog. Now use this hilarity to get rich, dang it all, and share the wealth!%^$%!*!!! (The profanity shows that I'm dead serious).

Ken said...

A guy asking you if you like to bowl is wierd and akward? Poor guy I feel bad for him! You just have to accept the fact that you are a megga hottie and destined to be hit on. It comes from good genes im sure. I do feel for you on the underpaid public servant front. Sometimes I just want to say, "I know it is my job to listen to you, but shutup now please."